Later, I found out his name was John Daggett, but that’s not how he introduced himself the day he walked into my office. Even at the time, I sensed that something was off, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. The job he hired me to do seemed simple enough, but then the bum tried to stiff me for my fee. When you’re self-employed, you can’t afford to let these things slide. Word gets out and first thing you know, everybody thinks you can be had. I went after him for the money and the next thing I knew, I was caught up in events I still haven’t quite recovered from.
My name is Kinsey Millhone. I’m a private investigator, licensed by the state of California, operating a small office in Santa Teresa, which is where I’ve lived all my thirty-two years. I’m female, self-supporting, single now, having been married and divorced twice. I confess I’m sometimes testy, but for the most part I credit myself with an easygoing disposition, tempered (perhaps) by an exaggerated desire for independence. I’m also plagued with the sort of doggedness that makes private investigation a viable proposition for someone with a high school education, certification from the police academy, and a constitutional inability to work for anyone else. I pay my bills on time, obey most laws, and I feel that other people should do likewise… out of courtesy, if nothing else. I’m a purist when it comes to justice, but I’ll lie at the drop of a hat. Inconsistency has never troubled me.
It was late October, the day before Halloween, and the weather was mimicking autumn in the Midwest- clear and sunny and cool. Driving into town, I could have sworn I smelled woodsmoke in the air and I half expected the leaves to be turning yellow and rust. All I actually saw were the same old palm trees, the same relentless green everywhere. The fires of summer had been contained and the rains hadn’t started yet. It was a typical California imseason, but it felt like fall and I was responding with inordinate good cheer, thinking maybe I’d drive up the pass in the afternoon to the pistol range, which is what I do for laughs.
I’d come into the office that Saturday morning to take care of some bookkeeping chores-paying personal bills, getting out my statements for the month. I had my calculator out, a Redi-Receipt form in the typewriter, and four completed statements lined up, addressed and stamped, on the desk to my left. I was so intent on the task at hand that I didn’t realize anyone was standing in the doorway until the man cleared his throat. I reacted with one of those little jumps you do when you open the evening paper and a spider runs out. He apparently found this amusing, but I was having to pat myself on the chest to get my heart rate down again.
“I’m Alvin Limardo,” he said. “Sorry if I startled you.”
“That’s all right,” I said, “I just had no idea you were standing there. Are you looking for me?”
“If you’re Kinsey Millhone, I am.”
I got up and shook hands with him across the desk and then suggested that he take a seat. My first fleeting impression had been that he was a derelict, but on second glance, I couldn’t find anything in particular to support the idea.
He was in his fifties, too gaunt for good health. His face was long and narrow, his chin pronounced. His hair was an ash gray, clipped short, and he smelled of citrus cologne. His eyes were hazel, his gaze remote. The suit he wore was an odd shade of green. His hands seemed huge, fingers long and bony, the knuckles enlarged. The two inches of narrow wrist extending, cuffless, from his coat sleeves suggested shabbiness though his clothing didn’t really look worn. He held a slip of paper which he’d folded twice, and he fiddled with that selfconsciously.
“What can I do for you?” I asked.
“I’d like for you to deliver this.” He smoothed out the piece of paper then and placed it on my desk. It was a cashier’s check drawn on a Los Angeles bank, dated October 29, and made out to someone named Tony Gahan for twenty-five thousand dollars.
I tried not to appear as surprised as I felt. He didn’t look like a man with money to spare. Maybe he’d borrowed the sum from Gahan and was paying it back. “You want to tell me what this is about?”
“He did me a favor. I want to say thanks. That’s all it is.”
“It must have been quite a favor,” I said. “Do you mind if I ask what he did?”
“He showed me a kindness when I was down on my luck.”
“What do you need me for?”
He smiled briefly. “An attorney would charge me a hundred and twenty dollars an hour to handle it. I’m assuming you’d charge considerably less.”
“So would a messenger service,” I said. “It’s cheaper still if you do it yourself.” I wasn’t being a smart-mouth about it. I really didn’t understand why he needed a private detective.
He cleared his throat. “I tried that, but I’m not entirely certain of Mr. Gahan’s current address. At one time, he lived on Stanley Place, but he’s not there now. I went by this morning and the house is empty. It looks like it hasn’t been lived in for a while. I want someone to track him down and make sure he gets the money. If you can estimate what that might run me, I’ll pay you in advance.”
“That depends on how elusive Mr. Gahan turns out to be. The credit bureau might have a current address, or the DMV. A lot of inquiries can be done by phone, but they still take time. At thirty bucks an hour, the fee does mount up.”
He took out a checkbook and began to write out a check. “Two hundred dollars?”
“Let’s make it four. I can always refund the balance if the charges turn out to be less,” I said. “In the meantime, I’ve got a license to protect so this better be on the up and up. I’d be happier if you’d tell me what’s going on.”
This was where he hooked me, because what he said was just offbeat enough to be convincing. Liar that I am, it still didn’t occur tc? me that there could be so much falsehood mixed in with the truth.
“I got into trouble with the law awhile back and served some time. Tony Gahan was helpful to me just before I was arrested. He had no idea of my circumstances so he wasn’t an accessory to anything, nor would you be. I feel indebted.”
“Why not take care of it yourself?”
He hesitated, almost shyly I thought. “It’s sort of like that Charles Dickens book, Great Expectations. He might not like having a convicted felon for a benefactor. People have strange ideas about ex-cons.”
“What if he won’t accept an anonymous donation?”
“You can return the check in that case and keep the fee.”
I shifted restlessly in my chair. What’s wrong with this picture, I asked myself. “Where’d you get the money if you’ve been in jail?”
“Santa Anita. I’m still on parole and I shouldn’t be playing the ponies at all, but I find it hard to resist. That’s why I’d like to pass the money on to you. I’m a gambling man. I can’t have that kind of cash around or I’ll piss it away, if you’ll pardon my French.” He closed his mouth then and looked at me, waiting to see what else I might ask. Clearly, he didn’t want to volunteer more than was necessary to satisfy my qualms, but he seemed amazingly patient. I realized later, of course, that his tolerance was probably the function of his feeding me so much bullshit. He must have been entertained by the game he was playing. Lying is fun. I can do it all day myself.
“What was the felony?” I asked.
He dropped his gaze, addressing his reply to his oversized hands, which were folded in his lap. “I don’t think that pertains. This money is clean and I came by it honestly. There’s nothing illegal about the transaction if that’s what’s worrying you.”
Of course it worried me, but I wondered if I was being too fastidious. There was nothing wrong with his request on the face of it. I chased the proposition around in my head with caution, wondering what Tony Gahan had done for Limardo that would net him this kind of payoff. None of my business, I supposed, as long as no laws had been broken in the process. Intuition was telling me to turn this guy down, but it happens that the rent on my apartment was due the next day. I had the money in my checking account, but it seemed providential to have a retainer drop in my lap unexpectedly. In any event, I didn’t see a reason to refuse. “All right,” I said.
He nodded once, pleased. “Good.”
I sat and watched while he finished signing his name to the check. He tore it out and pushed it toward me, tucking the checkbook into the inner pocket of his suit coat. “My address and telephone number are on that in case you need to get in touch.”
I pulled a standard contract form out of my desk drawer and took a few minutes to fill it in. I got his signature and then I made a note of Tony Gahan’s last known address, a house in Colgate, the township just north of Santa Teresa. I was already feeling some low-level dread, wishing I hadn’t agreed to do anything. Still, I’d committed myself, the contract was signed, and I figured I’d make the best of it. How much trouble could it be, thought I.
He stood up and I did too, moving with him as he walked toward the door. With both of us on our feet, I could see how much taller he was than I… maybe six-four to my five-foot-six. He paused with his hand on the knob, gazing down at me with the same remote stare.
“One other thing you might need to know about Tony Gahan,” he said.
“He’s fifteen years old.”
I stood there and watched Alvin Limardo move off down the hall. I should have called him back, folks. I should have known right then that it wasn’t going to turn out well. Instead I closed the office door and returned to my desk. On impulse, I opened the French doors and went out on the balcony. I scanned the street below, but there was no sign of him. I shook my head, dissatisfied.
I locked the cashier’s check in my file cabinet. When the bank opened on Monday, I’d put it in my safe deposit box until I located Tony Gahan and then turn it over to him. Fifteen?
At noon, I closed up the office and went down the back stairs to the parking lot, where I retrieved my VW, a decaying sedan with more rust than paint. This is not the sort of vehicle you’d choose for a car chase, but then most of what a P.I. does for a living isn’t that exciting anyway. I’m sometimes reduced to serving process papers, which gets hairy now and then, but much of the time I do preemployment background checks, skip-tracing, or case-and-trial preparation for a couple of attorneys here in town. My office is provided by California Fidelity Insurance, a former employer of mine. The company headquarters is right next door and I still do sporadic investigations for them in exchange for a modest two rooms (one inner, one outer) with a separate entrance and a balcony overlooking State Street.
I went by the post office and dropped the mail in the box and then I stopped by the bank and deposited Alvin Limardo’s four hundred dollars in my checking account.
Four business days later, on a Thursday, I got a letter from the bank, informing me that the check had bounced. According to their records, Alvin Limardo had closed out his account. In proof of this, I was presented with the check itself stamped across the face with the sort of officious looking purple ink that makes it clear the bank is displeased.
So was I.
My account had been debited the four hundred dollars and I was charged an additional three bucks, apparently to remind me, in the future, not to deal with deadbeats. I picked up the phone and called Alvin Limardo’s number in Los Angeles. A disconnect. I’d been canny enough to ignore the search for Tony Gahan until the check cleared, so it wasn’t as if I’d done any work to date. But how was I going to get the check replaced? And what was I going to do with the twenty-five grand in the meantime? By then, the cashier’s check was tucked away in my safe deposit box, but it was useless to me and I didn’t want to proceed with delivery until I knew I’d be paid. In theory, I could have dropped Alvin Limardo a note, but it might have come bouncing back at me with all the jauntiness of his rubber check, and then where would I be? Crap. I was going to have to drive down to L.A. One thing I’ve learned about collections-the faster you move, the better your chances are.
I looked up his street address in my Thomas Guide to Los Angeles Streets. Even on the map, it didn’t look like a nice neighborhood. I checked my watch. It was then 10:15. It was going to take me ninety minutes to reach L.A., probably another hour to locate Limardo, chew him out, get the check replaced, and grab a bite of lunch. Then I’d have to drive ninety minutes back, which would put me in the office again at 3:30 or 4:00. Well, that wasn’t too bad. It was tedious, but necessary, so I decided I might as well quit bellyaching and get on with it.
By 10:30, I’d gassed up my car and I was on the road.