I was born in the Land of Lincoln, following the war to end all wars, in 1947. It was a time of new hope, and as a baby boomer born to a family of educators, I was taught to believe in God, motherhood, apple-pie and the red, white, and blue: America was beautiful. I was raised in a conservative, traditional home, the second oldest child in a family of seven children. We practiced the Catholic Faith by tradition, and we children attended the local parochial school when one was available. There was no physical or sexual abuse in my childhood, so of course I was unaware of its existence. Because the media had not yet begun to play out the truth of such things, I actually reached late adolescence secure in the knowledge that the world was a very safe place in which to be.

I met the man of my dreams as a senior in college, and we married after graduation. I look back over those years and I marvel at the simplicity of our life then. There was nothing to fear, except of course the threat of some awful communist country again trying to mess with the United States. I truly lived my life believing in our government. In 1985 I began to realize that a new career might be in the making, as I saw my children growing into their own and myself responding more and more to requests for help by various troubled people. I decided to go back to school and get a Masters in Social Work.

During my undergraduate work, a professor discussed incest briefly, and then with some disdain, assured us that we would probably never see such a thing, since it only occurred in the “Hills of Kentucky.” I believed him. The idea of such a horrible thing happening to another human being never crossed my mind again for many years. During my masters program, I again received no information about sexual abuse, or for that matter, any other abuse. I did not learn about addictions. I learned about research, and how to do it. That is an over-simplification of my experience, but suffice it to say, it did not prepare me for what I was to learn in the field of social work as I came to know it.

I was assigned an internship as a unit social worker in a freestanding psychiatric hospital. Thus began my real education. In October of that year, I experienced a poignant moment, branded in my mind. One of the nurses on the unit was commenting on the unusually high number of sexual abuse cases we had on the unit, when another nurse commented, “Oh, didn’t you know this is borderline season?” I was shocked to hear such a statement, but it was a long time before I understood the full implications of that remark.

Following my internship, I was then employed as the unit social worker at this hospital. It was here that I began to hear bizarre stories of satanic ritual abuse from several of the patients. We also saw several cases of self-mutilation, something I sincerely did not know ever happened, much less in such massive numbers. Cutting, burning, using acid to burn the skin, even one patient who purposely put a screw in her leg and let it get infected. This was all new to me. I didn’t know what to make of the ritual abuse stories; they were extremely serious in nature, and beyond my ability to believe. I had never heard of such a thing, and yet, hearing the same type of thing over and over from so many different patients, confused me. Something was most certainly not right, but I still had no idea what was really going on.

As I began my private practice, I began to hear more and more stories related to horrible, ritualistic, disgusting abuse. One particular case was most disturbing. This person was most articulate about what had happened to her. Her childhood saga would be food for Stephen King. I was still confused and concerned about how I could be hearing so many similar things from such a diverse population of people.

My belief system did not include even the possibility of such trauma, and yet the possibility that it might be true started to seep into my mind. Over a period of a year and a half, I had three different clients draw pictures for me, talk to me, and cry to me about the horrors of what happened to them while visiting Disney World. They all three drew pictures, explained details and were horrified at what they had endured at the most wonderful of rides “It’s a Small World.” This was my family’s favorite ride, in fact we so enjoyed Disney World, we had taken our children two years in a row when they were younger. So, indeed I was shocked, and scared when I began to hear such things that were so similar, from people that did not know each other. Better yet, I was still extremely skeptical. I did not want to believe that it was possible. I did not want to give up my dream world. I did not want to change my way of thinking.

I acquired Brice Taylor’s first book, STARSHINE: One Woman’s Valiant Escape From Mind Control, at a conference where she was speaking. As I began to read her story, I actually felt sick, because so much of what she was describing in the book was so similar to what I was hearing from others. A client I had could have written the book, and yet, I knew this client had told me her story several years before the publishing of STARSHINE. Still, none of this made any sense to me, as the idea of mind control was still a very far-fetched concept in my mind. I contacted Brice, who told me her real name was Sue Ford, and she and this client made contact, only to discover that they knew a lot of the same people, experienced a lot of the same programming, and endured their own private holocaust. My skepticism was eroded by this time, as I personally witnessed the sharing of this misery.

Although I had to completely alter my life concepts, my belief system, and my purpose in doing my work, I knew I had no choice but to stand beside these courageous people who had lived such lives of horror, and to help them to have hope. The mind control concept made more sense to me than just the ritual abuse alone. I now know that the ritual abuse was just a means to an end.

As I continue to honor these survivors with my belief, I learn more and more about the evil that surrounds us, and the determination of that evil to succeed. It is with the same fervor that my husband and I persevere. No one can change my mind. I know too much now, I have seen too much now, and my only hope is that others of you that read this book will believe her truth and help stop this living nightmare.

I have concluded that the success of the programming depends on the triumph of the assault on the five senses. The programmers use sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste to alter a child’s perceptions. The method used works on the principle of operant conditioning. For example, tones paired with electroshock, in turn wires the commands about these things into the hard drive of the child’s mind, in order to control them. Programmers very cleverly use common things and ideas to guarantee that a child will be sure to encounter these things throughout their lifetime, thus assuring control.

The telephone is an example of such programming. A programmed person under mind control is extremely tuned into the telephone. The tones are important, as well as the number of times a phone rings. It is extremely hard for a recovering person to let a phone ring, and often just the ring alone can trigger a panic-attack. The tones played in the act of dialing the telephone can serve as a trigger to mind controlled victims and can be extremely troubling to programmed people. Things that other people take for granted as just a helpful tool, play a frighteningly scary role in the lives of those who were tortured with mind-control.

Certain themes have surfaced throughout the years, which to this day continue to amaze me as I hear them over and over. The Disney Parks, MGM Studios, Disney Movies, Disney characters, and Disney songs have been used in conjunction with the programming. My understanding of this is that using such a familiar and popular theme assures that the program will be triggered easily. To anyone who is a Disney fan (and who is not), this is probably one of the hardest things to believe. However, sitting where I sit, hearing what I hear, and seeing what I see, I cannot refute this truth anymore.

Certain animals are used in the programming. Dolphins are a common program. Birds are also used to ensure the silence of the programmed person. The child is told that birds can hear what they do, and if they tell, the bird will fly back and tell on them. There is a constant fear of going to jail, as well. One of the ways this is instilled, is the child is forced into participating in some diabolical, criminal act, and then the child is told they are an accomplice. Thus, if they ever tell, they too will go to jail.

Monarch butterflies are also used for programming. There is what is known as the “Monarch Project.” Again, I don’t purport to understand all of this, I just know that being obsessed with Monarch butterflies is one thing in one client, but to have it reported over and over again becomes suspect.

The programmed people I have worked with seem to have an obsession with their own birthdays. Once in recovery, unless the suicide programs are disconnected, the desire to kill themselves as they remember their past is overwhelming, especially around the time of their birthday, and this has proven true with each individual I see.

Sleep is also an issue with programmed people. They rarely sleep for more than a few hours at a time, or they have bouts where all they want to do is sleep. There are sleep programs, designed to shut down the mind if it starts to remember. This is a serious problem for recovering people, and one that is often written off as mere depression. This is another ploy of the programming; almost any one of the symptoms taken out of context could be attributed to another cause. All this is very cleverly orchestrated.

There is programming associated with childhood games such as the game of LIFE. Played over and over again it is a way of instilling the idea of how their life is to be played out. Grow up, get a job, make babies, make money, live happily ever after, so simple, clean, and coy. Another game reported to me, over and over again is the game “No Place to Run, No Place to Hide.” This game was actually physically acted out during the programming. The child was made to run and hide, and then was tracked down and punished. The result being, the child learns they can never get away from this horror.

Certain television programs and actors have also been a source of programming for the mind-controlled person. Over and over again I hear the same programs being mentioned, that they were forced to watch as children, and often feel compelled to watch in rerun form. Certainly I know that we all have our childhood favorites, but the obsession that I have witnessed over certain theme songs, shows, and even entertainers goes well beyond the norm. Using music as a form of mind control is insidious. Our minds are like steel traps for words of songs we hear as children and thus will trigger us immediately. For the purpose of mind control, hearing a certain song can send a recovering mind-controlled victim into sheer panic. Two particular shows seem to be universally known to the recovering people I have seen: THE WIZARD OF OZ and IT’S A GOOD LIFE. The phrase “follow the yellow brick road” is a program used to trigger someone into doing whatever he or she is told to do.

Food is reported to me constantly as a trigger for many of the mind-control survivors. Oreo cookies are a big trigger, as well as M&M candies. My experience has been that if a mind-controlled person is asked how they eat M&M’s, they will answer with clarity as to the exact way they do so. It might be by color, it might be by color sequence, it might be not eating a certain color; but there will be a pattern that must not be altered. If asked to do so, they will often be visibly shaken by the request. Ask a non-programmed person how they eat them, and they might say “by the handful,” “I don’t like them,” or just say that it’s a silly question.

Probably the most disturbing food I find universally reported to be programming is McDonald’s french fries. I know there is always some kind of taste war going on among the fast food giants as to who has the best fries, but it is not O.K. if a person feels compelled to eat McDonald’s fries daily. The urge to do so is so strong, that several people have reported that this is their little secret. It embarrasses them, because they don’t understand the overwhelming urge to eat them. I also know about food addictions, but that doesn’t fit for so many of these people.

The one program that has been a universal theme in all of the people that I have worked with over the past 10 years is their abject fear of going to hell for lying. This is a particularly clever ploy on the part of the programmers, because if indeed a person actually has the courage to begin to heal from this horror, and start revealing to someone, they are instantly paralyzed with fear. The ultimate insult to their truth is that they have been told that if they believe anything really happened to them, and tell, it will be a lie. It is a “Catch 22” designed to keep the silence.

Thank God a few brave souls have reached beyond that fear and into the light of truth. This truth has set them free. For many of the people I know who were programmed as children, this truth is now their reality. Like Sue Ford, they no longer have repressed the horror, but instead can recall it. Not unlike the survivors of the Holocaust, these courageous people have overcome their own private war, to conquer Evil in it’s finest hour. To those who don’t or won’t believe what I know to be true, I pray for you to see the truth, to help those in need, and to stop the evil from spreading any further. Healing is possible, and is happening. Once the healing begins, the people can reach out to others that need healing. We need to light the “candle of hope” for these precious people, and pass on the “light of truth.”

Mary Lewis, LCSW